I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
