Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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