pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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