she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
