apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
