Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
