I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
