Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
