Where is the hickey?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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