I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize