I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We had to coat check the pizza.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
