yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
