I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize