sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
