I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
