i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
