I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
