i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The struggles of a small town man whore
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
