i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize