before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
