Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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