is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
