How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
