some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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