How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Operation Purity has been aborted
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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