you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
