I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
