Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize