My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
