Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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