People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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