absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
