Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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