I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
