she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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