sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
