used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
