I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
