I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
