I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
