You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize