Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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