Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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