Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
