I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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