Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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