Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
