Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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