well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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