I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
