Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
