just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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