Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize