So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
