Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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