you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
