Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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