I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
