Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
