I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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