I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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