I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
