he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
