But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
