He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
