those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
