hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
